Stuart Rothon

 

Stuart Rothon

I DIED 13 TIMES AND GOD SAVED ME

   When I unlocked the door this morning, I actually thought, wow, like I've come far enough for someone to trust me with the key to this skate shop, that's someone's entire business, and I've gone from lying in a hospital bed as an overdosed heroin addict, begging for death, to someone that's trustworthy.

   2012, was the first time I did crystal meth, it was in Muizenberg.  By this time, I was very, very, very depressed.  There was no amount of weed on earth that could satisfy or even make me feel better, you know.  It was just a constant smoke, smoke, smoke, and smoke all day.  I just remember looking and thinking is this that thing that has destroyed so many lives?  There's just like this thirst for it.  I was just like, oh, that felt really good and you know there's nothing wrong if I do it one more time.  The problem with "one more time" is that sentence never changes. 

 

   The rest of my 18th year and 19, was such a blur.  I didn't really touch any other drug.  I just started shooting up heroin every day.  My parents found needles here and that would trigger this whole thing, like, "Oh, Stuart, you're using again," and "let's get him into a rehab."  The whole family went into a state of emergency and we went through so many counselors, so many rehabs, and so many experts that could help us.  I went to NA meetings like crazy.  

   When you're shooting up heroin, when you're mainlining, you get to a point where you would absolutely, hands down, rather die than go through withdrawals.  The pain you go through is excruciating.  I got to a point where I was like, yooo, like now I'm actually done.  I'm done living.  There's nothing left now for me.  I thought overdose is the way I want to go.  In order to overdose, I have to reduce my tolerance.  So, I'm going to go and tell my parents that I want to be booked into rehab and I'll reduce my tolerance.  Went away, I went through the detox. 

   As soon as I got out, got driven to my dad's work.  Soon as I had the chance, took the car key, then I told my dad, "Oh, I'm just going to go downstairs for a cigarette."  Got in the car, went straight to my dealer, and went straight to the chemist to get needles.  Got a lethal dose, came here to the house, and yeah, with no hesitation, stuck the lethal dose in (swoosh), pulled it out.  I just remember everything just fading and my heart monitor beeping. My heartbeat was slowing and then it flat-lined. I woke up with very blurred vision in the hospital and crying.  There's where I got a vision of this angel hovering over the bed, forcing air into my lungs.  At that point was the first time I truly decided that I needed to kick this whole addiction thing. 

   I went to Proverbs 3:5, and I still do today - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but I meditated on it.  We can't deal with a lot of this stuff humanly.  We're not capable.  The only way is through Christ.

Sister:  Is he going to die?  Is he going to live?  Am I going to have my brother back?  And yeah, I never wanted to give up.  I was convinced that God would set him free.

   I think I went to nine rehabs.  I overdosed another 13 times.  My heart stopped six times.  They've had to resuscitate me, it was, the carnage and it was, and it was hard.  It was the hardest time of my life.  I had to face the fact that it wasn’t possible.  I never heard of anyone that had recovered.  Everyone that was mainlining heroin was either dead, in jail, still mainlining heroin, or still using. 

   I went to this place and I just did farm work there.  There were people from prison.  There were people from all over the place that was struggling with addiction and all sorts of things.  While I was on that farm, I'd realized that I'd tried absolutely everything and on that farm is finally where I surrendered to Jesus and I gave Him my absolutely worthless life.  I said, "You know what, just take it."  And it was hard.  It was emotional and it was hard but it was also really easy.  It took a lot of weight off my shoulders. 

   My whole life was under my charge, and when I gave it up, I just felt this weight lifting.  I was on antipsychotic medication.  I was on antidepressants.  I was on anti-anxiety.  I was on heroin supplements.  I was on ridiculous levels of sleeping pills.  I left not taking one pill, not needing one pill, completely normal.  I haven’t done one program since then.  I have truly been free ever since. 

   Now I'm three years clean from heroin, very happily married.  I just got married two months ago.  I had so many lies in my head about God.  Because of those lies, I never gave myself a chance to get to know Him, whereas when I finally started to get to know God, He's, He's just too good for me, too loving for me to deserve.  He is too graceful.  He is too forgiving.  I've had moments where I've dropped down and cried like a little baby because I don’t deserve anything from Him, but he still gives it so lovingly.  In one of the rehabs that I was in, my sister wrote a verse on my arm.  It was a prophetic word over my life that this scripture would come true.  It was Galatians 2:20 - I've been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I that live, but He that lives within me.  The life I live now, I put my trust in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave His life for me. 

 

Hearing His Voice Testimony

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