Juan Martinez


   Juan says, “Everywhere I went I destroyed homes, business owners, lawyers, dentists and I thought I did it best.”

  Juan, an ambitious drug dealer, grew up willing to do anything to feel accepted and prove himself.

   “My parents got divorced when I was like eight years old, and I really didn’t have a father figure to look up to. I was looking at what was outside and what was in the movies. I thought the toughest guy out there that had the most money and the most women, was really the picture of what life was like.”

   Juan started hanging out with the older kids in his New Jersey neighborhood. They introduced him to drugs, and by age of thirteen, he was using and selling marijuana and cocaine.

   Juan remembers, “I felt accepted by these guys, and they taught me what they knew. They taught me their trade. So I’m thinking, ‘okay, if this is what I need to do, then I had to top everybody.’  That’s who I became.”

Years later, Juan moved to Texas to expand his territory and was introduced to meth. He started using it and then selling it with one goal in mind.

   “I wanted to make a lot of money. I was going to come here to do the big score. I was going to be one of the main distributers in New York City, New Jersey, and all those other states.”

   Juan began by targeting families in the suburbs. His strategy was to first befriend the fathers.

   Juan says, “I knew they were drinkers and we'd drink and eventually, you know, ‘hey, you want to get high?’ Once I got the guy high, it was easy because now I’m invited into his home.”

   Once Juan got both husband and wife hooked, he became their dealer and moved on to the next home.

“I felt that I was finally proving myself to everyone. It was this weird world, this prideful, weird world that made me feel like, ‘yeah, I was accomplishing something in life.’" 

   As long as Juan stayed high, he didn’t have to think about what he was doing.

   “I didn’t think that the things I was doing were bad. If you don't think you're doing anything wrong, you just begin to chase after something that really will never satisfy you.  But you chase after it anyway.”

   One day, Juan was out on a delivery when he heard a voice he didn’t recognize.  “Why are you killing, stealing and destroying the very lives I’m giving people?”

   For the first time in my life I felt horrible.  I'm just weeping and crying; right? It’s like in a twinkling of an eye, everything stops I still went and made my deliveries.  But there was a thought every time I handed it to somebody, you know?  So I would hand it to a woman and I was thinking, ‘man, I'm ruining her life.’ I would hand it to a guy, ‘man, I'm ruining his life.’"

   Juan had gone to church as a child and believed the voice was God’s, but didn’t know how to change. A short time later, he was arrested for meth possession and landed in jail, facing a 25-year sentence.

   Juan says, “I've hit rock bottom and nowhere else to go.  I'm done and at a place where I don’t have anybody.”

One night, encouraged by a cellmate, Juan prayed and read the Bible.

   “Weeping, I got on my knees and repented about everything I’ve done. I’m literally praying and thinking about the things that I have done in my life. I was like, ‘I'm sorry. ‘God, I want you in my life.’  I want this Jesus, you know?  I want this.” 

   Juan surrendered his life to Christ and lost all desire for drugs.

   “I didn't feel like I had to prove anything anymore. I felt like I was accepted and felt this love. I was never the same again.”

   Juan’s sentence was reduced to 4 years, and he spent his time in prison growing in his faith. Today he is married and has a family. As a pastor, he goes back to the very neighborhoods he dealt drugs and shares the gospel.

   Juan says, “Jesus filled every void. When I didn’t have a father, He was my father. Whatever void has you empty, you can fill it with Jesus.  Jesus wants to give you life.”

Pastor Remembers His Drug Dealing Days Juan

   Juan says, “Everywhere I went I destroyed homes, business owners, lawyers, dentists and I thought I did it best.” Juan was an ambitious drug dealer that grew up willing to do anything to feel accepted and to prove himself.

Juan Martinez Hearing His Voice Testimony