Proverbs 20:3
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It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.
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Are you a peacemaker? Do you hate conflict, strife, and trouble? Do you love quietness, rest, and unity? Godly men hate fighting; they back out of conflicts involving themselves; and they intervene to bring peace when others are fighting. It is a credit to their reputations and religion. But fools, being void of godly character and integrity, provoke others in various ways to cause conflict and strife. They are noxious nuisances to men.
Common for Solomon's proverbs, the disjunctive "but" contrasts the proverb's two clauses. The fool of the second clause is contrasted to a wise man in the first clause. The first clause does not state it is a wise man, because that is unnecessary, given the second clause. By the same method of contrast, we understand the meddling of the second clause to be a fool's conduct and speech that cause or exacerbate conflict and fighting. Furthermore, in contrast to the wise man's deserved honor, the fool is rightly despised!
Strife is fighting. A wise man avoids fights. He knows that strife, even in his heart, is devilish confusion and evil from hell (Jas 3:14-16). He knows that God condemns strife and commands peace (Rom 13:13; Gal 5:19-23; Eph 4:1-3; Phil 2:3; Jas 3:17-18). He knows at best that fighting marks a carnal Christian, but most likely a child of hell (I Cor 3:3; Titus 3:3; Jas 4:1). He chooses the blessed course of a peacemaker (Matt 5:9).
A wise man is honored for not fighting. It is his glory to pass over a transgression (19:11), to be slow to wrath (14:29), to rule his spirit (16:32), and to avoid fights rather than try to end them later (17:14). But a fool is despised for causing conflicts. He is hated for quick anger (14:17), pride (13:10), repeating offences (17:9), and sharing them with others (16:27-28). Good men want to take these obnoxious types and flog them (18:6)!
Worldly men believe fighting is manly, because they cannot aspire to be nobler than junkyard dogs! It takes more character, discipline, and strength to resist fighting than it does to give in to the childish emotions and devilish urges that call for it. God surely inspired this proverb! Men think honor must be defended by fighting, but God honors the man who will not fight! Only proud, wicked beasts feel they must strike another blow.
The Pharisees, religious fundamentalists for man's basest lusts, taught, "An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth," by applying a civil law to personal offences (Matt 5:38). But Jesus praised the godly man, who turns the other cheek to the man who smites one (Matt 5:39)! Only base fools think they must protect their person and reputation by biting others for any hurt. Great men end controversies, forgive injuries, and befriend even enemies!
How honorable are you? Can you return a soft answer to an angry man, even when he is wrong (15:1)? Are you a little child in malice (I Cor 14:20)? Can you forgive everyone, even those quarreling with you (Col 3:12-15)? Do you hate bitterness and love tenderheartedness (Eph 4:31-32)? Can you recognize that most fighting for "principle" is truly for pride (13:10; 21:24)? Are you willing to be defrauded (I Cor 6:7)? Do you follow your heavenly Father and seek good for your enemies (Matt 5:43-48)?
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