Proverbs 19:13
|
A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
|
Contentious women know how to date. They decorate the outside, their physical appearance, by many means, to capture his eyes. They hide and disguise what is inside, their personality warts and defects, by a show of grace, respect, meekness, submission, and love. These efforts are made until the wedding is over. And then the odious woman makes her appearance (30:21-23)! And what an ugly and hateful sight she is!
The poor man has contracted something worse than cancer - he has contracted marriage with hell. He must go home to this wretch every day for the rest of his life, and he has to sleep with her! He quickly learns to work extra hours, take up hobbies like hunting, or build a detached workshop to get away from the noise of this creature (21:9,19; 25:24).
In public he tries to hide her, but what can he do? She is as obvious as a pig attached to gold jewelry (11:22). The poor man cannot avoid his great shame; for everyone sees he married a misfit (27:15-16). He knows they whisper about his horrible plight at home.
While a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, the woman of our proverb is rottenness in his very bones (12:4). So bitter is the pain of a wicked woman that Solomon thought it worse than death (Eccl 7:26). Oh, precious death, take me from her!
A contentious wife likes to question, discuss, debate, and oppose most everything. Her ideas are as good as his. She constantly answers again. She is proud, stubborn, and self-righteous. She cannot follow; she likes to lead. She asks too many questions, makes too many suggestions, and does not cheerfully obey. She loves to correct her husband, who never gets the facts just right! She will not receive correction meekly. She always has a reason why tonight is not a good night! Or the middle of the day is not the time for it!
The continual dropping here is a very rainy day (27:15). You cannot stop it; it keeps on dropping. You cannot stop her noise and resistance! These are not pleasant raindrops on a secure roof; they are the irritating drops of a leaking roof that destroy tranquility and peace. Any man who has tried to sleep near a leaking faucet understands perfectly. The Chinese perfected a torture of tying a man down and dropping a perpetual drop of water on his forehead. She is torture! The foolish son may be cast out; the contentious wife must be endured. The foolish son is in his room; the contentious wife is your bedmate!
Therefore, let every man take great care how he marries and how his sons marry. Young fools do not know how to judge women; so fathers must help them, lest they are consigned to fifty years of hell on earth. Fathers, by the very nature of the relationship, you have more experience in marriage with a woman than your son has in the ignorance and folly of childhood and youth. You have been married longer than he has been alive!
It is a shame our rebellious generation thinks they can make this far-reaching decision on their own! So we have an epidemic of dysfunctional marriages, divorces, and adultery! Young man, it is far better to be lonely and frustrated in your own house and bed than to marry an odious woman and have to live and sleep with her for your entire future!
If you have married poorly, dear man, repent of your folly and allow no more. Marriage must be managed by the divine rule of subjection, and if you compromise here, the dropping will continue (Gen 3:16; I Cor 11:3,8-12; 14:34-35; Eph 5:22-24,33; Col 3:18; Tit 2:5). If she professes any fear of God, bring her to her Creator's throne and show her both His wise design and sentence of judgment (I Tim 2:13-14). If this fails, Christian husband, bring her to the church by our Lord's prescription (Matt 18:15-17; I Cor 6:1-8).
Every man who has a virtuous and submissive wife should first thank his Father for such protective mercy and then take the good woman out for dinner and thank her a few times!
Let every woman examine herself in the only honest mirror in the universe - the word of God (Jas 1:21-26; Ps 19:7-14). Reject those fantasies of our society and your noble thoughts about yourself (Ps 119:128; Is 8:20). Read God's opinion, as we just have. Then prove your own work and rejoice in yourself (Gal 6:4-5; I Pet 3:1-6).
But a foolish son is also a horrible thing in a man's life, Our Preacher witnessed many foolish sons: for he had many foolish brothers, and his son Rehoboam was a fool. Let us read his pain and learn (10:1; 15:20; 17:21,25; 23:15-16,24-25; 29:3,15).
A calamity is very grievous affliction or adversity, deep distress, trouble, and misery. It is a painful disaster. And this does not overstate the grief caused by foolish sons, which should be the joy of a father's heart.
Fathers! Train the foolishness out of your son, while there is hope (22:15; 19:18). Here is a calamity you can avoid (29:17)! If you neglect his training, he will default to foolishness (29:15). His training is a commandment (22:6; Eph 6:4), and the Preacher tells you what will work - the rod and reproof (29:15; 23:13-14). See the comments on 26:1. A loving father will train his son; a hateful father will neglect him (13:24).
If you are too busy, too tired, too reserved, too slothful, too interested in other things, or any other excuse, you will bear your own burden. Calamity and shame will come, unless you repent and beg for His mercy and recovery of lost years (29:15; 13:15; Gal 6:5).
If you have a foolish son, repent and beg God to help you recover him (Joel 2:23-27). Bring your authoritative instruction to bear by whatever means you have. Further compromise will bring greater pain in the future, as with Eli (I Sam 2:29; 3:13). If he has any fear of God, bring him before his Creator and remind him of his duties (Eph 6:1-3). If he persists and is a church member, bring him before the church (Matt 18:15-17).
Every man who has wise and noble sons should first thank his Father for such protective and kind mercy and then praise and honor his sons for their faithfulness.
Let every son, of any age, examine himself in the only honest mirror in the world - the word of God (Jas 1:21-26). Are you a joy to your father? Or are there things you know you could be doing better? Correct them! Reject those notions of your wicked generation and your independent thoughts of folly. Read God's opinion about young men, as this book carefully expresses. Then prove your own work and rejoice in yourself (Gal 6:4-5).
Dear Christian reader, what kind of a wife and son are you to your Husband and Father? Does your Bridegroom rejoice in your constant fidelity, passionate love, and joyful submission? Or are you an odious stench in His house? Is your Heavenly Father pleased with the success of His adoption? Or are you a son that needs to be chastened often? Let every reader examine himself to see if he is fulfilling the Husband's and Father's desires.
And further, dear reader, our proverb teaches the disappointment of this world's greatest pleasures. The very things we prize most highly can so easily bring our greatest miseries. Without His grace, all is vanity and vexation of spirit! Is there not here a lesson that He alone must be our Portion and the treasure of our souls (Ps 73:25-26; Matt 6:19-21)?
Here are two horrible things in a man's life. He can marry an odious woman; and he can have a foolish son. Both are disasters and make marriage and children sober matters.
www.letgodbetrue.com
