Proverbs 7:21
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With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.
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Women can overpower men ... by beauty and flattery (6:24-25; 7:26; Eccl 7:26). The warning here is about the flattery of a strange woman. It is so powerful, she "caused him to yield" and "forced him" into sexual sin. Solomon's parable about a whore seducing a young fool includes this summary of her speech in overpowering him. Wicked women love this power for evil; virtuous women use it for their husbands' pleasure and praise.
Of course, in our perverse world, no matter how a woman dresses or acts, it is always the man's fault for any sexual improprieties. Sexual harassment occurs in only one direction in our ignorant nation. But the LORD and Solomon warned about women seducing and forcing men, and they were right: whorish women create more sexual danger than lewd men (23:27-28). Women are naturally protected by stronger inhibitions, nature, families, laws, and social decorum. But what protects men from a bold seductress? Proverbs!
Flattery is excessive praise used to seduce someone against his will. It is portraying a matter too favorably in order to make it more pleasant and to beguile the listener. Men love the praise of a woman, for winning the favor and devotion of a woman is an instinctive drive placed in their heart and loins by their Creator. Evil women manipulate this desire in men to prey on them in their scheming plans of seduction for various ends.
Whatever inhibitions a man has, by religion, parental training, or noble character, he will lose them under an enticing barrage of flattering speech from a desirable woman. The adoration of a woman is an elixir that only a few exceptional men can resist, and then only by the grace of God. Joseph may have resisted Potiphar's wife, but he was an exception to the general rule of Scripture and human experience.
Solomon often warned his son about the smooth and silky words of a whorish seductress (2:16; 5:3; 6:24; 7:5; 22:14). Wise men will take sober heed and avoid such women, before their lying words steal their souls and virtue. See the comments on 2:16 and 5:3. But here he has just described in detail the verbal approach of a whore seeking her victim (7:13-20); his summary in our proverb states the case well. She forced the young man!
Solomon described the whore as prefacing her words with an embrace, a kiss, and a bold, uninhibited face (7:13). Then he provided a lengthy description of her much fair speech:
Young man, how strong was Samson? Was he stronger than any man? Indeed! But whores have slain many strong men (7:26)! Delilah used words to destroy him, even though he knew she wanted to destroy him! Why couldn't he resist her? Because flattering words from a beautiful woman are too much for most men! Read about his helplessness before her manipulating flattery (Judges 16:4-21).
Young man, how wise was Solomon? Was he wiser than any man before or after him? Indeed he was! But whores have cast down and wounded many men (7:26)! And outlandish women caused him to sin, against the advice of his very own proverbs (Neh 13:26)! He described their crafty wiles as a horrible danger and evil (Eccl 7:26).
In avoiding the dangerous flattery of women, you must also guard against seducing words in notes, emails, cards, chat rooms, telephone messages, letters, codes, and other forms of correspondence. We can communicate with others more easily today than ever before, and wisdom demands you to be careful in all these new dangers of the 21st Century.
Christian woman, limit your speech to men other than your father or husband. Be sober. Hate flirting or flattery. While praise is a wonderful thing, it is too powerful for you to give to other men other than on rare occasions and with great discretion. But you should learn to use kind words and feminine praise of your father and husband, for it can build a man's soul and character to be the strong and noble creature God intended him to be.
The subtle and damning nature of flattery is seen also in false religion, where good words and fair speeches are used to deceive the hearts of the simple and sell false doctrine (Rom 16:17-18; II Cor 2:17; 11:3-4,13-15; Col 2:4; II Pet 2:3,18). What is the protection? Look for the plain and simple churches of Jesus Christ with straightforward preaching of the Word of God. Look for ministers who provide all things direct and honest (II Cor 4:2).
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