Proverbs 3:30
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Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm.
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You better have a good reason to debate, fight, or sue someone. God allows you to defend yourself when legitimate harm has been done. But He will not tolerate a petty, hypocritical, or vengeful response to others. There had better be definite and significant injury involved, or you are messing with a matter that will come back to bite you.
How serious are the consequences of debating or fighting for no good cause? The great and dreadful God of heaven hates such contrary, froward, obnoxious, and wicked men (3:32). He curses the families of men that will not get along with others and that like to stir up trouble (3:33). He will scorn the scorners and promote fools to shame (3:34-35).
Of course, contentious men always have a reason for contending with others. In their depraved sense of justice, they are righteous in arguing, fighting, or suing someone for damages. But God knows the hearts of all men, and He will despise their petty, personal, hypocritical, or vengeful thoughts. He will be froward to froward men (Ps 18:25-26).
Wisdom includes knowledge and ability to get along with others. Wise men are glorious, because they know they should defer anger and ignore minor offences (19:11). They know that if they are unmerciful in holding men accountable for their small trespasses, then God Himself will not forgive them their trespasses (Matt 6:14-15).
What causes some men to be contentious? Pride! Only pride (13:10)! It is not an innate sense of justice or righteousness that causes them to criticize, debate, fight, or oppose others. It is the pride of their wicked hearts that refuses to be merciful, refuses to overlook small offences, and refuses to forgive others fully and easily. Pride is damning!
How about women that nag? Same thing! Their pride finds pleasure in correcting their husbands. Resenting their role, they show their selfishness by contending and brawling! No wonder Solomon warned against such women (19:13; 21:9,19; 25:24; 27:15)!
Peace and unity, the godly goals of wise men, depend on overlooking the minor faults or offences of others. Only when life or home is threatened is there cause for fighting. Jesus Christ said that even anger in your heart without a cause is murder (Matt 5:21-22)! And responding with force to minor offences is of the same character (Matt 5:38-42).
A contentious spirit is from hell, but a gentle and peaceful spirit is from heaven (Jas 3:14-18). What a great difference! What a glorious opportunity! What a precious privilege! What will you do today? Fight over anything? Or forgive everything? Be a peacemaker!
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