Ben Robinson

Ben RobinsonI HAD TRIED TO CONTROL MY LIFE

   My name is Ben Robinson and I am President and founder of Robinson Creative, Inc. an innovative DESIGN STUDIO with a personal approach to branding.

   I grew up in Houston and attended a small Baptist Church with my family on the southwest side of the City. In my teens, I began to pull away from church as my family fell apart. Unfortunately, I was young, vulnerable and trying to comprehend my surroundings. Between the ages of 14 and 19, I was approached or propositioned by four older women and two male pedophiles. I did always find a way out of the situation; my Christian upbringing gave me a foundation and I knew it was wrong. However, I began drinking and sleeping around later in high school and in college.

   I completed a work-study program at Methodist Hospital in Houston as a senior. It was a trade I then used to fund my education at the Dallas Art Institute. My parents were now divorcing and I had to pull 21 hours and work to complete my Associates Degree. At the age of twenty, I was hired to be the Art Director of a department store in Lubbock. It was a lot of responsibility for a twenty-year-old. I had to illustrate the products, write copy and layout the print advertising as well as concept and direct all TV and radio advertising. At this point, I was very prideful. I had completed school, graduating with honors while working a double shift on Saturday and Sundays at the hospital… all without my parent’s help, who were now divorced. Everything I was taught now seemed like a lie. If it didn’t work for them, I would make my own life!

   I was now an executive with a full-time staff position. I felt I deserved it now, so I bought my first new car.  Since I didn’t know anyone in Lubbock and it was over 12 hours from Houston, I began a relationship with a girl I knew from class who showed an interest. Ultimately, we decided to move in together and save on expenses. When she wanted me to meet her in Dallas, I was tired from working long hours and my car pulled to the left a little, but I agreed to go. As I was leaving the city limits of Lubbock. The radio station was going out, so I reached down to change the station. When I looked up, the car was on the left shoulder in the loose gravel. I was driving about 60 MPH when I corrected the car, causing the back to fishtail in the gravel. The car hit the ditch and it catapulted the vehicle up in the air. It flipped over five times (I was told later) in the air before crashing down on the pavement and rolling for a distance. The car ended up on the opposite side of the highway, belly-up. My car was destroyed… Every window shattered.

   My car finally had stopped moving. I found myself laying on the inside roof of the car. I was not wearing a seatbelt. My dog was also in the car and he darted out. I had enough wits about me to grab the tip of his tail before he ran out onto the highway. I crawled out of the wreck and got as far as I could from the devastation. People began to gather. I had no idea I had witnesses. I was bleeding from my head and my arms, causing my white t-shirt to quickly become blood-soaked, although I was completely oblivious to it. When people realized I was the one from the accident, they pushed me down and called 911. Miraculously, I had not been thrown from the vehicle while it tumbled in the air and on the pavement. I later had 5 stitches on my head and 21 stitches on my right elbow.

   On Monday, I went back to work. We had a TV commercial shooting at 8:00 A.M. that I was coordinating. It was a difficult shoot and I was still sore from the accident. When I returned to my office, my insurance company called to inform me that they couldn’t total my vehicle. Soon after, the linemen buyer came in waving a newspaper ad that had a major mistake that I was responsible for. Everything was catching up to me and it was the last straw. I just couldn’t handle the onslaught of issues. For the first time, I couldn’t “control” my life. Then a customer called upset about the mistake in the ad. I had two ads that were due but my mind went completely blank. It was like I was overloaded and about to explode but I was completely numb. I looked at my calendar with the two ads listed and I couldn’t think of the first thing to do. I was completely overwhelmed. I called my boss and told him I had to go home. By the time he walked over to my office, I became emotional. At first, I was numb but now all of the circumstances began to affect me and reality set in. I was out-of-control and the more I tried to calm myself, the more I freaked out!

   I went home and slept for 14 hours straight. But this was a dramatic turning point. A month later a friend at work invited me to church. It really was the first time in years I had darkened the door. The pastor’s wife told the congregation about a young man in his early twenties. He happened to be named Ben also. He was killed in his car while sleeping on the side of the road. It hit me hard. I realized through the story, I had tried to control my life. I had walked away from God and lived in darkness. I hadn’t forgiven my parents and I was so cold and determined to live the life I wanted without God. But in His incredible grace and mercy, He still watched over me and protected me from a certain death in the accident… even when I did not acknowledge Him! That day, I rededicated my life and later was filled with His Spirit. I never experienced such joy.

   My life forever changed. But I had to deal with the live-in girlfriend. My youth pastor helped me understand the situation, why she was so angry that I had found Christ and would no longer be intimate. I studied the word and sat under amazing teaching and was able to reach out to her with grace.

   Jesus Christ has blessed me with a beautiful wife, two children and an incredible career. He had allowed me to use my gifts and talents to expand his Kingdom. Not only has he blessed my career and my business with only a two-year education, but he has opened doors in acting and producing. It started with a Christian community theater called Cornerstone. I was able to perform stage productions with impacting messages while praying and ministering to audience members afterwards. I've also performed the role of Christ in five major productions over seven years and seen many come to Christ after.

   My father, whom I've always had a distant relationship, and I reconciled on his deathbed. With the Lord's influence I was able to minister to him as I went several days a week and read scripture, while he lay in the hospital. He had an intimate relationship with my sister and the enemy had used cancer to suck the life from him. I felt the Lord tell me I must forgive him, that the enemy desired his soul. It was a spiritual battleground for me, but he reached up pulled me to him and kissed me. He said, "I'm proud of you and I have the faith to believe I'll be with Jesus." It was everything I wanted and needed to hear. My father had never been an emotional man. I knew this was totally God!

   My desire is to always speak words of life and reveal the light in the dark world. I believe the Kingdom is truly for the hurting and deceived. There is a very real enemy and darkness is more crafty and prevalent. But we can use technology, entertainment and our gifts to impact a world that is lost and confused.

 

Ben Robinson Hearing His Voice Testimony